16 days....

...till I'm 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so excited!!!!
Now that that is outta the way.....I'm sorry I haven't posted in like 2 months. I have just been crazy crazy busy with school and work and all my new bills since I got the new car. I hope that everyone has been well, and had a great Valentines day, St. Patrick's Day, and Easter!!!
Theres not too much new stuff going on with me except for the birthday coming up. I am super excited to celebrate. I am so lucky because I have a group of fabulous friends who want to go out with me and have a fun time!!! We have a lot of idea about what we want to do, but so far my favorite ideas are...going to the Hacienda for a terrific Mexican dinner and lots of margaritas and strawberry daiquiris....then going to the palisades mall and hanging out at Dave and Busters for fun games and drinks...then if needed crashing at a close by hotel. It just is so so so so exciting!!!
So Jerry and I are thinking about doing another dieting competition. I whooped his ass last time, and he feels like coming back for seconds!!! I lost 8 lbs last time, and I think he only lost like 5 lbs. I am trying to lose 10 lbs this time. I want to lose it by my bday. 10 lbs seems kind of low, but I would rather be realistic and say 10, and lose 15 and be happy than start with 15 only lose 10 and feel like a failure. I really really want to get skinny. I am trying to stick to healthy food, and I have been going to the gym or going to my walking for wellness class everyday!! Hopefully I will make it happen!!!
I've gotta run now. Time to do some work!! Everybody have a great day!! See you again tomorrow!!!

New Car

I got a new car last night!!! After looking around and being very disappointed with my choices, I was finally able to find soemthing I could be happy with. I had to buy a used car becasue I was only approved for a loan of $7500 origionally. When I went to a diff dealership he got me approved for $10,000!!! I got an '05 Suzuki Verona. It's light blue, 4 door with power windows and locks. It really is nice. It has wood accents on the inside, and is very cute. I am very happy. It even came with a warrently, and I got an extended warrenty for only $30 xtra dollars a month. I miss my car so much though. It had a really nice cd deck in it, and great speakers that jerry bought for me for my birthday one year. It just has a lot of memories. I miss it, but I guess I did what I had to ddooo

vroom vroom no more

My car is broken!!!! Of all the times it could have picked to break....I had to call out of work at the college today.I still have to bartend tonight. I dropped my car off at the shop at 9:30, and I still haven't heard back yet. It has been feeling like the transmission has been giving me issues for a while, but my parents are in denial. Anyways, they won't cosign with me so I can get a new car. I finally got approved by myself, but only for a loan of $7500, which is better than nothing, but I won't be able to get a nice car that I really want. If they cosigned I could have whatever car I wanted that fit within my monthly budget. It makes me so mad tht they just wont help me. My current car is a '98 pontiac grand prix. it looks great. The inside is immaculate. I have never had any major issues with it....till now. We payed $10,000 for it about 4-5 years ago, and apparently now, it's only worth $2000. The dealership is willing to trade my car in for $2000 even though the check engine light is on. It's just so frustrating to think I could hav a new car dor a payment as low as $280/month for 62 months with 0% financing, but I can't do it bc my parents wont sign no matter how hard I beg them!!! So anyways, I have to go call the car guy now and see what the damage is, then I'm going to call the car dealership. Everybody have a great day!!!

Moving out....

...is what I desperately need to do!!!! I can't stand living at home anymore. I hate going to use my $7 a bottle shampoo and conditioner and not having any left!! I hate craving something I have bought to eat, and not being able to eat it because my family already did. I need my own space. I just seriously am about to go over the edge. Jerry's having the same issue as well. We can't afford to move in together though. It would be amazing if we could buy our own house....we both want the same kind( a log house), in the same kind of area (somewhere thats not here....we were taking about PA), and decorating it and just living the same way. He's very organized. I try to be, but with school full time, and 2 jobs, it's a little hard to keep my room clean sometimes. I am clean though, don't get me wrong. I hate every second that my room is dirty. I want my own house so that I can start over, and my room would never be messy again!!! I really wish we could do it now. Jer said theres no way though. H e said that one day though he does want to live with me, so I guess for now it's just something I'm going to have to look forward to. I know it's a lot of responsibility, but I am so ready for it. I like to clean, LOVE to cook. I just want my own life, my own space from my family. I'm only 20, and it seems kind of young, but I am just so ready to be independent. I know that it's not going to be a fairytale, and it would be hard because we would have a lot of bills, but it's just something I know I want, and I know I'm ready for. Well, after I graduate and get a job I will be ready for it. Speaking of graduating, and jobs.....I don't know what I am going to do after I graduate. I will have my associates in communications, and I was originally aiming to be on radio, but I'm not so sure I want to do that anymore. It's a job I would do for the love of it because it doesn't pay anything, and I would have to have another job on top of it. I kind of almost would rather have one steady 9-5 job, even if it isn't my dream job. I was thinking of applying at a bank or two in town. They pay decent, I like people, and it has benefits. Thats a major thing for me. Since I won't be at school anymore, I won't be on my parents insurance anymore. I need my own. I have heard even part timers get benefits at some banks. So I was thinking I would do part time at a bank(which is still almost 30 hrs a week), then keep my waitressing/bartending job, and then decide if I want to pursue a career in radio, or something along those lines. If anybody has any job suggestions...I'm all ears!!!

blahhh

I'm sorry I haven't written in a few days. I have just been feeling very down since Mary died. I have kind of a funny story though...I went to work last night even though it was snowing. I thought it would stop. Well, it didn't. It was like a blizzard!! At 4, I couldn't even get up the driveway to my jobs parking lot, so I had to park in the lot next door that belongs to the firemen. So I park it there, and they ask me to move to a certian spot so they can plow. I do it. Then I hear them snickering about how funny it was to watch me try and get up the driveway for work. So around 6, a guy walks in and says "you have a flat tire". I asked if there was anybody who could change it for me, and he said no and walked away. What the hell??? You're part of the fire dept...you're supposed to help people! Anyways, there as this really sweet guy at the bar who offered to take my flat to his dads shop and see if he could patch the hole. I had a donut in the trunk, but the roads were so bad by then that I was too afraid to drive the 30 mins home on a donut. So we go over to my car, and hes on his hands and knees in his jeans wih no gloves or coat, and he takes my tire off for me. So he comes back later, and says he couldnt find the leak! He filled it for me, and I drove home. It took me over an hour, but I was there safe. So today I took my car to get the tire fixed, and the guy in town who does all of my repairs says to me "this tire is supposed to be flat? I can't find a hole in it!" He then suggested that maybe the air was let out of my tire. So now I am thinking about it...those firemen are such jerks...I wouldn't put it past them to do that to me. Ssoooooooo...the moral of the story is, I bought the guy who fixed my tire that night a drink, I won't park anywhere other than my work parking lot again, and I deff won't go in when its snowing so much anymore!!!

Sadness

Thank you everybody for your prayers and good thoughts for Mary. Unfortunately, she just couldn't hold on any longer, and she died today. I can't really type much else, but I wanted everybody to know how much I appreciate all of the prayers.

Moron

Well, it's official...I am a complete moron!!! I am going to have to go over to Jenn's for some major blogging help. I'm pathetic, I know lol. So no news last night about Mary. We waited all night for a phone call, but never got one. I am hoping that today we will have some news. I don't have much time to write right now, but later I will have lots of time, so I promise I will post something interesting!!!

Call me stupid but...

So I am trying to do this whole blogroll deal...and it worked for Jenn, but I have put in other people, and for some reason they aren't showing up on my actual page!! I'm not normally this dumb, I swear, but if anybody can help me out, it would be great! Thanks!!!

Update

First of all, I would like to thank everybody for their prayers, and well wishes for my friend Mary.  Anything will help, so thanks to you all. Here's the update....I haven't heard any news yet today, but I guess no news is good news. Last night at work I found out all the details.  If you have a queasy stomach, you might not want to read what I am about to write....Mary is at Westchester Medical center right now in the trauma unit. She is on a respirator or ventilator....whichever is the one that just helps you breathe rather than doing all the work for you.  She had the accident o her ay home from work sat night.  She was found Sunday morning around 4 am only a half mile form her home in Pennsylvania.  She was rushed to westchester where they immediately removed her spleen, and removed her skull to release pressure from her brain.  My boss went to see her. He said she isn't looking good.  All we can do is pray.  The doctors did say though that every once in a while she will choke and gag and it's because she is trying to breathe against the machine and breathe on her own, so that is a very good sign.  She did however, get a fever last night. The doctors think though that it's just her body reacting to the surgery she had, and trying to prevent infection.  She is in a coma right now.  They aren't sure the extent of brain damage, or if there is any. I am praying and thinking about her every minute. I had to work on the bar last night, and all I could think about was her because she is the one who trained me.  I don't know why this happened to such a wonderful person....please pray for her and keep her in your thoughts. Thank you everybody! I will let you know if I find out any more information about her condition.

New at this

I am very new at this blogging thins. I am unsure of how to find people on here. Right now I am just going off of my friend Jenn's page and reading her friends blogs. I want to add a blogroll...how would I go about that?? I also would like to learn as much about this website as I can, so if anybody has any advice, or info to help me out that would be great. I really look forward to reading some interesting blogs, and making some new friends!!! I would also like to say, everybody please please please keep my friend in your prayers!!! I appreciate it so much. Thank you all!

Friends are the best

Soooo...I am having a really awful day. I just found out a good friend of mine from work was in a bad accident, and only has a 10% chance to live. I didn't know who to call or talk to about it, so I called Jenn. Now, I am feeling much better. I really don't know what I would do without my friends. And I am not going to lie....I have an amazing group of friends. They always make me smile. I am so so so so lucky to have them in my life!

Just boredom kicking in

What Jillian Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

The Recipe For Jillian

3 parts Seductiveness 2 parts Difance 1 part Devilry Splash of Uniqueness Serve over ice

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

Your Monster Profile

Iron Giant You Feast On: Fried Chicken You Lurk Around In: Public Restrooms You Especially Like to Torment: Hicks

What's Your Monster Name?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life. Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself. If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

100 Completely Useless Facts About Me:

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed...i left it open once and swear I saw a ghost!!!

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
No, I am too particular on what I use

3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
No lol

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No, but I stole a cone!!

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
At work yes

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
nah

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
a bear.

8. Are you drinking anything right now?
H20

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
Depends

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who think they know everything

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
out

12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
yyea actually lol

13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
haha yes...only when drunk tho

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
always

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
pen tops occasionally

16. What color is your cell phone?
Pink!

17. What's the last movie you watched?
Good Luck Chuck

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
When it was me by Paula deanda

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yes, some guys

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
nope

21. What’s your least favorite movie?
i dunno....

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
in my yard

23. What do you drink with dinner?
water, mile, kool aid....depends what im eating

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
honey mustard

25. What is your favorite food/cuisine?
italian

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
American Wedding

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Jerry

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
nah

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
If I had a better body, and more confidence

30. When is the last time you wrote to someone in a letter?
when emma was in basic training lol

31. Can you change the oil in a car?
no thats what boyfirneds are for.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
technically yes, but i worked my magic and they pretended like it never happened

33. Ran out of gas?
nah

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Reuben

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
cereal

36. What is your usual bedtime?
when i fall asleep.usually between 12 and 2

37. Are you lazy?
occasionally

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for halloween?
princess

39. When did you find out Santa wasn't real?
i was old.

40. How many languages can you speak?
1.2

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
cosmo

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
legos

43. Are you stubborn?
yes

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
leno

45. Ever watch soap operas?
passions

46. Afraid of heights?
not at all

47. Sing in the car?
very loudly

48. Dance in the shower?
its a must

49. Dance in the car?
of course

50. Ever used a gun?
paint ball gun

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
senior pictures

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
wonderfully cheesy

53. Is Christmas stressful?
sometimes

54. Ever eat a pierogie?
don't thoroughly enjoy them

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
not into that

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
marine biologist

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
yesss

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
yes

59. Take a vitamin daily?
no

60. Wear slippers?
yupp

61. Wear a bath robe?
yes

62. What do you wear to bed?
comfortable things

63. Favorite toy when you were young?
pogo stick - skip~it - jump rope

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
hhmmm....tie between wal mart and target.wal mart for food, target for clothes

65. Nike or Adidas?
Nike

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
peanuts

68. Ever hear of, "gorp"?
no

69. Ever take dance lessons?
ballet and tap

70. Is there a profession you picture your spouse doing?
not really as long as he is happy it's cool

71. Can you curl your tongue?
yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
oh never.

73. Ever won a medal for anything?
yes

74. Own any record albums?
no

75. Own a record player?
no

76. Regularly burn incense?
oh no

77. Ever been in love?
I am right now!!!

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
John Mayer again, or dashboard confessional

79. How many animals do you have?
1

80. Hot tea or cold tea?
cold

81.Tea or coffee?
neither

82.Favorite kind of cookie?
peanut butter...has to be gooey tho

83.Can you swim well?
very well

84.Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
yes

85. Are you patient?
no

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
dj

87.Ever won a contest?
yes

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
never

89. Which are better black or green olives?
neither

90.Can you knit or crochet?
nope

91. Best room for a fireplace?
living room

92. Do you want to get married?
very much so

93. If married, how long have you been married?


94. Who was your HS crush?
hmmm...i had bf's all thru highschool

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
no

96. Do you have kids?
I borrow other ppls kids

97. Do you want kids?
very much!!!

98. Whats your favorite color?
Pink

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes

100. Who do you wanna see right now?
Jerry

The things we don't understand

I guess you could say that there are things in life that nobody understands. Well, I have officially encountered one of these things in my personal life. Before I get into the details, you need to know a little bit of background information. My boyfriend Jerry and I have been together for a little over 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs, but in the end things have always worked out for us. Jerry works for the county and is stationed at the landfill. He holds the title of transfer station operator....and he HATES it!!! He also lives at home still which he also HATES. He has been very frustrated lately. A few weeks back, there as an article in the paper about the landfill closing. The county doesn't technically have to give Jerry another job, so there is a chance he could get layed off if they closed. Well, Jerry decided to tell me that he was thinking about joining the marines after he read the article in the paper. It really upset me at first, but I figured it was something that would pass by. Just last week, I went to his house and found him on his laptop looking at videos of marines on you tube. He then asked me what I woud do if he went into the marines. Now, as a good girlfriend, what am I supposed to do? I know I should support him no matter what, and I always will, but I don't want him to know that!!! Then he may think I am OK with him going to the marines, which I soooooo am not. I am selfish, I want him here with me. Him being somewhere far away is bad enough because I see him almost everyday, and if I don't see him I at least get to talk to him. Him being sent to war would send me over the edge!! I couldn't handle that. But of course, I told him I would stay with him if he joined. Today he decided he wasn't going in to work. That is so unlike him. He texted me and said he was thinking about the marines more. Some of the things he said really scared me. This is exactly what he wrote..."the thing is, when you join, you have to join knowing that wherever they send you, you might not come home". Now, I didn't start crying...my eyes just started leaking. It's so weird. I am normally a very emotional person and I get very worked up, but whenever he mentions the marines my eyes just start leaking. I don't know how to feel. He isn't sure yet what he wants to do, but I am scared. I don't want him to go. I want us to start planning a life together and go through life together. If he's in the marines we can't really do that. Especially if he gets sent to Iraq. I am mad at myself for being so upset at the idea. It's a very honorable thing. I just don't want him to go!!!!!! I don't know what's going to happen. I do know that the idea of Jerry joining the marines scares the hell out of me!